The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah

One very rewarding feature of the adult b’nai mitzvah process was our Jewish book reports. The reports themselves were interesting, but the main benefit for me was making a point to read books about spirituality.

Jewish Lights Publishing has a great assortment of books, and when their catalogue came in the mail recently, I was inspired to find some of their titles at the library. (Cheap, I know! I should support them by actually buying the books. But I hardly ever buy books anymore. Our library has a great selection, and we don’t have the room.)

Here’s what I’ve been reading this month:

• The Knitting Way, a Guide to Spiritual Self-Discovery, by Linda Skolnik and Janice Macdaniels – of course I couldn’t resist this one!  The authors write:  ”This book is about seeing and listening.  It’s about becoming aware that through knitting you can hear and give attention to what’s in your heart and soul-that knitting can be a place of rest and thought and a place for the Divine.  It’s about connection-to yourself, to the world, to others, and to the Holy.
• The Jewish Lights Spirituality Handbook, edited by Stuart M. Matlins, Editor-in-Chief of Jewish Lights Publishing.  This book of short essays is divided into thematic sections:  Awakening the Possibilities:  What is Jewish Spirituality?  The Worlds of Your Life:  Where is Spirituality Found?  The Times and Seasons of Your Life:  When Does Spirituality Enter?  Swords and Plowshares: How to Forge the Tools that Will Make It Happen.  So What Do You Do with It?  Why Spirituality Should Be a Part of Your Life.
• God in the Wilderness-Rediscovering the Spirituality of the Great Outdoors with the Adventure Rabbi, by Rabbie Jamie S. Korngold.  She had me hooked on the first page, when she describes traveling to the Grand Canyon for a conversion ceremony for  former congregants’ adopted baby (using the Colorado River as the mikvah.)

Reading God in the Wilderness reminded me that the immensity and grandeur of nature can be intensely spiritual.  But, it doesn’t even have to be “big” nature like the ocean or a raging river or the Grand Canyon.  I have had moments of great spiritual onrushes while pulling weeds in the garden, chopping vegetables, or sitting in a sunny garden with my eyes closed smelling the flowers.

Of the three books on Jewish spirituality that I’m reading now, God in the Wilderness is the one I’d definitely recommend the most.  I think non-Jewish readers would find it inspiring too.

Each year Eva’s Girl Scout troop has a “holiday traditions” potluck.  The girls bring dishes that are meaningful to them.  Eva volunteered me to bring latkes, which are way too hard to serve potluck style.  (Anything fried needs to be cooked to order, or they turn into greasy hockey pucks.)

So I told her I’d make matzo ball soup.  Ten girls and two troop leaders, and a package of Streit matzo ball mix makes 9-12 matzo balls.  Score!

So I had a crazy day….I mean, a day so crazy that making soup with a “flavor packet” out of a boxed mix was not happening.

Instead, I am hearkening back to my possibly Cherokee ancestors by stirring up a package of just-add-water Marie Callender’s corn muffin mix.  Easy peasy, crowd pleasing especially when your crowd are fifth graders.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to whip up an emergency batch of 12 cups of individually ziploc baggie-d royal icing for school gingerbread houses.  Ah, holiday time!

Thanks, Daily Cheapskate!

Hurry up and run over there now to enter their contest to win an over-the-top party package from Party City. Quick! Contest ends on December 14.

Enter now.

…and so it begins.

Eva went to her first peer-group bat mitzvah a couple of weeks ago.  Eva is only nine and truthfully was probably invited because she is in the same choir with the bat mitzvah girl, but an invitation is an invitation, and of course she attended.

Driving up, we heard the pulsating sounds of “Tik Tok” coming from the social hall.  Minivans idled at the curb as parents dropped kids — mostly girls in party dresses with a smattering of older girls in hoochie-short skirts and a handful of boys too.

Yes, this was a boy-girl event.  A couple of days before, I’d asked Eva if boys were invited, and she said she didn’t know.  Eva is in fifth grade, which is the cusp of boy-girl interest.  Many of these kids are eighth graders, so they’re right in the thick of things.  Old enough to be interested, but too young to know what to do with that interest.  It’s a crazy time.

So anyway, I didn’ t want to crowd Eva.  She was thrown into a brand new situation this year and jumped right in bravely and confidently.  She’s making friends and doing well.  I don’t want to be that mom sitting in the corner yoohoo-ing at her while she’s trying to socialize.

But, because the temple is 45 minutes from home, it seemed silly to drive all the way down to drop her off, then drive home, only to turn around and drive there and back a couple of hours later.  Hence:  stakeout!

In the right frame of mind, I love a good stakeout type scenario.  For instance, when I know I’m going to be sitting for five hours having my car repaired, I pack a book, newspapers and crossword puzzles, snacks, knitting, and paperwork.  It’s actually almost kind of fun, especially if it only happens rarely.

But this night, I wasn’t feeling it.  I was tired, for starters.  It was cold and my I just wanted to curl up on the couch with the dog watching Die Harder.

What’s more, Poway rolls up the sidewalks at about 8 p.m., even on a Saturday night.  The one weird Starbucks stayed open until 9 but the only other customers were two Vietnam vets having a cup of coffee after their drug abuse support group.  I browsed in Target bu then they shut down too.  The grocery store was open until 10 and if I were as organized as my friend Kiersten (who has FIVE kids including her youngest three who are triplets!), I’d have taken advantage of the free time to complete my grocery shopping.

Instead, I did a stake-out, periodically moving my car to warm it up and run the seat-warmers.  (In my defense it was in the high 20s!)  I ended up huddled under the dog’s army blanket, draped in layers of a lost-and-found Tony Hawk sweatshirt and an old beach towel.

I kept texting her, with broad hints like, “Ready yet?”  She’d text back, tersely: ” DONT COME B4 11.”

When I drove up, the first thing I noticed was a boy and girl hugging in the parking lot.  OMG boys & girls!  My baby is only NINE!

Inside, kids were playing games organized by a DJ and partaking of the chocolate fountain.  There were custom airbrushed t-shirts and a photo booth that made cool flip books as take-home favors.  It was all a bit overwhelming…for me.  From Eva’s perspective, it’s all just great.  We’d talked a bit about possibly having her bat mitzvah in Israel, but after her first taste of all the best California’s simcha DJs have to offer, she wants to have a big party with friends instead.